Hypnotized
by MeredithGreyShepherd
Summary: “Yes, there is. Right now, we are existing. There is an us. We just can’t see it. It’s hidden inside us, deep deep down inside us. And we shouldn’t fight it Meredith,” DERMER DRABBLE STORY.


__

_You and I got something._

_But it's all and then it's nothing to me._

_And I got my defenses when it comes to your intentions for me._

_And we wake up in the breakdown._

_Of the things we never thought we could be._

__

He stares at her from across the room and he hasn't once felt this bad in his entire life.

She's just standing there, her eyes cast downward towards the ground. She's trying to avoid the world, trying to avoid other people, but mostly, just him. He cocks his head as he stares at her more closely.

He stares at the broken body he has caused.

He wants her to lift her head so badly. He wants to see her beautiful eyes one more time. He wants to see those beautiful eyes that always lit up whenever she saw him.

And as they walk out of the patient's room, she lifts her head and their eyes meet for a brief second.

But her eyes aren't filled with joy.

They are filled with fear.

Fear of love, fear of life, fear of rejection.

Fear of him.

__

_Hope dangles on a string._

_Like slow spinning redemption._

_Winding in and winding out._

_The shine of it has caught my eye._

__

He's hypnotized by her scent. Hypnotized by her smile. Hypnotized by her skin.

He's mostly hypnotized about her hair.

He remembered all those lonely nights, where he lied in bed, thinking of what he did in his life that caused him all this pain.

Now, the only thing he thinks about his her.

He can never get her out of his mind. Ever. All he wants to do is take her in his arms and hold her. He wants to hold her until death do them part.

But he _can't_ and _won't._

Because he _can't_ hurt her like he did.

He _won't_ let himself cause her any more pain than he already has.

So all he can do now is love her.

He will love her from afar.

_There's just one thing that I need to say._

_Before I close my eyes and walk away._

_There's just one thing that I need to feel._

_Before I walk away against my will._

_There's just one thing that I need to hear._

_Before I walk away for the last time._

_There's just one thing that I need to see._

_Before I take this chance and set us free._

__

"I'm not going to walk away anymore," he states matter-of-factly, on her front porch.

"What?" she asks him, confused.

He steps closer to her trembling body.

"I am _not_ going to walk away anymore. I do _not_ want to try and stop these feelings," he tells her softly.

"I…I don't follow…" she says, stepping away from him.

Without taking a chance to stop and think, his hands find her tiny waist. He pulls her to him, his breathing more rapid.

"I am not going to walk away from you anymore. I can't and I won't. I'm trying so hard to try, but Meredith, I am sick and tired of trying. I am sick and tired of denying it. I won't deny it anymore."

_Even the best fall down sometimes  
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme  
Out of the doubt that fills your mind  
You finally find  
You and I collide_

__

"I'm sorry," he states in a rough whisper.

"No you're not," she tells him, walking away once more.

"Yes, I am," he pushes.

"If you really are sorry then you will turn around right now," her voice rises and it just makes him want her more.

He grabs her arms and forces her against the brick wall.

"I told you before, I am _not_ going to walk away again," he says harshly, his breath quickening. And he knows it's not just because he's been following her through the city streets all night.

"Then I guess you're not _really_ sorry now are you?" she snaps, squeezing out of his grip quickly and turning to walk away.

But he was too quick and immediately forced her back, his hands now gripping her arms tighter to keep the only woman he loved from ruining his only chance.

"I miss you," he whispers.

Meredith's heart stopped short as she took in a deep breath, staring him in the eye.

"Well I've moved on Derek," she says.

And she's afraid that it's true.

_Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles._

_If I could just_

_See you_

_If I could just_

_Hold you_

_Tonight._

__

"Don't fight this," he whispers.

"Don't fight what?" she asks, nonchalantly.

"This," he says, because he knows that she knows exactly what he's talking about.

"And what would _this_ be?" she asks sarcastically.

"Us," he replies shortly, plainly, like it's something that's _meant_ to be said.

"There is no _us_," she says, not looking at him, but looking at the ground.

And he can tell that the same pain that he saw in her eyes had come back.

He stepped closer, the tension getting worse. His finger traced under her chin, down her neck. He cocked his head to the side as he pushed her chin up so he could look into her eyes. No matter how much pain she was in, she would always look beautiful.

"Yes, there _is_. Right now, we are existing. There _is_ an us. We just can't see it. It's hidden inside us, deep deep down inside us. And we shouldn't fight it Meredith," he tells her quietly.

"But what if I don't know how to do that? What if I _want_ to fight it?" she asks him, her eyes cast downward.

"Why would you want to fight it?" he asks, his forehead wrinkling in confusion.

"Because I don't want to get hurt again. I do _not_ want to go through that pain again Derek. I…I won't be able to handle it," she lifts her head, a glint in her beautiful eyes.

"I won't hurt you."

"I can't trust you."

And she walks away, not giving him a glance.

And it's just that easy.

__

_I'm giving up on doing this alone now  
Cause I've failed and I'm ready to be shown how  
He's told me the way and I'm trying to get there  
And this life sentence that I'm serving  
I admit that I'm every bit deserving  
But the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair_

__

**So. That will be it, FOR NOW. If you peoples want me to update this, tell me. You see, Derek hasn't said "I love you," to Meredith yet. All my fanfics have Derek saying that. It's like a THING that HAS to be put in. But anyways, that's beyond the point.**

**Just review and tell me if you want me to update. Pwitty pwease?**

**NOTE: Oh and _Twisted Italian Leprechaun_'s fanfics are BETTER than mine. Go check them out. You will like them. And if you don't I will give you to my dog, who will tear you to shreds and then take out the trash for me. He's very very talented. Trust me, he is.**

**REVIEW AND MAKE ME HAPPIER THAN ROLY POLY GUILBERT.**


End file.
